Making Time for Enjoyment—Even When It’s Hard

When a relationship feels tense or distant—or even broken—it’s tempting to believe that the way back is through hashing things out. Through processing. Through fixing. Through long, heavy conversations. 

But more often than not, what actually reconnects people is much simpler—and much softer. 

You have to be willing to make time to enjoy each other. 

Even if you’re hurt. Even if you’re frustrated. Even if there’s history. Even if nothing has been resolved. 

Because connection doesn’t grow in the middle of criticism. It grows in moments of warmth. Laughter. Shared presence. Goodwill. 

And if you want a relationship to heal or grow or thrive, you have to be willing to spend time there. 

It’s Not About Perfection—It’s About Willingness 

Every person brings flaws. Frailty. History. No one gets through a relationship without some pain. Some disappointment. Some misunderstanding. 

But if there’s a desire to stay—or even just a desire to see what’s possible—you have to be willing to look past what isn’t working long enough to reconnect with what is. 

You have to be willing to enjoy each other. 

Even in the smallest, simplest ways. 

A shared joke. A walk. A meal. A quiet cup of coffee. A memory. A movie. A breath. 

It might not feel like “the work”—but it is the work. It’s the work that makes everything else possible. 

Why Enjoyment Matters More Than Strategy 

Each person in a relationship has ideas. Solutions. Stories. Theories about what went wrong or how to fix it. 

But the ideas that truly work—the ones that feel right, that stick, that bring new life to the relationship—those come from connection. Not from logic. 

And connection doesn’t happen through effort. It happens through feeling. 

When you're in a good feeling together, your minds open. Your hearts soften. Your thinking clears. And that’s when the real ideas—the collaborative, hopeful, healing ones—start to show up. 

Not because you forced them. But because you created space for them by choosing to enjoy each other, even when it’s hard. 

Even in the Most Broken Relationships 

This isn’t just about small fights or stressful seasons. This applies even to relationships that feel worn out, exhausted, hopeless. 

When a relationship is really struggling, there’s a strong urge to talk it all out. To sort through every grievance. To fix the mess. 

But most of the time, both people are too caught in emotion and thought to do anything productive from that space. 

What’s needed isn’t more processing—it’s more presence. 

A moment of shared enjoyment—however small—is like oxygen to a struggling connection. It doesn’t erase the pain. But it gives both people a glimpse of something better. Something that makes staying feel possible. 

And from there, real healing can begin. 

It Takes Willingness, Not Agreement 

You don’t have to agree with everything. You don’t have to feel “ready.” You just have to be willing. 

Willing to sit beside someone and enjoy the same sky. The same silence. The same song. Willing to try. 

Even when it feels awkward. Even when it feels forced at first. The trying matters. The effort to move toward each other matters. 

And the feeling that grows from there is what will show you where to go next.  

If your relationship feels stuck and you're not sure where to begin, start here: with a quiet, open mind and a moment of shared enjoyment. If you'd like support in seeing how to reconnect from that space, I’d love to talk. Sometimes it’s not about fixing what’s wrong—it’s about remembering what’s still right.